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MY COACHING FAILURES

Let me share another fruit from my fruitful failure tree…

There have been times when I have struggled mightily in my coaching relationships. Whether the relationship is with a person or with a team. The conversations are exhausting, draining for me. Likely for my coachee(s) as well.

DANCING IN THE MOMENT

What I learned from the Co-Active Training Institute is that effective coaching could feel like an effortless dance. Sometimes, the client leads. At others, the coach leads. Sometimes it is hard to tell who leads. Either way, the coachee discovers new resonant pathways to living a resonant life that they are born to live.

DESIGNED ALLIANCE

I also learned that one essential ingredient for an effective coaching relationship is a designed alliance between the coach and coachee – a “designed alliance” that guides their interactions. I realized that in almost every coaching relationship that felt like a struggle, there was an opportunity to improve our designed alliance.

The designed alliance is often created by exploring some questions that surface what’s most important to the coachee and coach in their relationship. I have my “go-to” questions. You probably have yours.

THE DESIGNED ALLIANCE CANVAS

I began by designing alliances with my coachees by sharing a list of questions. The inspiration for these questions came from what I learned from three key sources…

What I found challenging was that a bulleted list of answers was harder to refer back to during coaching conversations. So I visualized the questions in the form of a canvas that I want to share with you – 9 Questions To Design An Alliance-2021-12-27-v2.1 (fillable form)

https://smoothapps.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/9-Questions-To-Design-An-Alliance-2021-12-27-v2.1-fillable-form.pdf
 

HOW TO USE THE DESIGNED ALLIANCE CANVAS

There are two contexts in which you could use this canvas…

1×1 COACHING

Ask your 1×1 coaching client to fill this canvas out and share it with you. Listen at levels 2 and 3 as they share. Be curios and surrender to your intuition to explore words and topics that intrigue you in greater depth. Maybe you could share your own canvas with your coachee, so they get a sense for who you are and where you are coming from.

As you coach your client, tie back their choices to their canvas especially when you feel their choices seem misaligned with their purpose and values. Help them clarify their choices and / or canvas as needed.

TEAM COACHING

You could also use the canvas as you help Agile Teams forge a shared identity. Each team member could fill out and present their canvas to their team members. Help them understand and honor each other’s perspective. Then, explore if they can create a shared canvas for their team.

As they work together, if you notice them deviating from the ideals they shared in their team canvas, bring it back up. Help them look at their choices through the lens of their team canvas and explore if this might reveal any new choices to be who they aspire to be.

WHAT NEXT

Let me know what you think and how you made this flawed tool your own. If you want to learn more about these ideas, consider these resources…

Co-Active Coaching – For 1×1 Coaching

ORSC – For Team Coaching

Engaging With Us – Contact us to see if we can help you apply these ideas in your context – whether it be through a 1×1 coaching engagement, or through coaching at the organizational level. 

Ravi Verma
Post by Ravi Verma
June 27, 2021
Ravi Verma is a Public Speaker, Agile Coach, Scrum.org Professional Scrum Trainer, Evidence-Based Management Consultant, and Blogger passionate about helping teams recapture the magic of making IT. As the Founder and CEO at Org Whisperer, Ravi blends ideas from the world of Technology, Entrepreneurship, and Organizational Development to develop strong teams and inspiring leaders at all levels of an organization. He recently co-founded his second startup - Al Dente, a platform that helps Agile coaches and organizations empirically improve business outcomes with Agile delivery frameworks like Scrum. 

Ravi has around 25 years of Software Delivery and Consulting Experience, including Agile Enablement for companies ranging from 10 people to 10,000 people. He is able to earn the trust and respect of C-Level executives and help them understand how the application of Agile Principles, Values, and Practices can become a powerful means to achieving sustainable competitive advantage.

Ravi has a Bachelors Degree in Computer Engineering from R.V.C.E., Bangalore, and a Masters in Entrepreneurship from SMU, Dallas. Ravi received a Certificate in Organizational Development from DePaul University and Linkage Inc. and is an MBTI Certified Practitioner, with a Certificate in Advanced Conflict Resolution from Kilmann Diagnostics. He has also been trained in facilitating workshops for leading organizational change based on the book “Leading Bold Change” by Dr. John Kotter workshops.

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